Friday, June 02, 2006


Yesterday I took Madge to the dentist. She loves going (go figure) so it’s not a big deal. It was our first time here in NY, so I had to fill out a form.
On the form, I had the choice of (for myself, not for Madge): Married; Single; Other.
Of course I’m intrigued about this “other” business. It even had a line next to it, implying “please explain.” I merely filled in, “Polygamy?” “Celibacy?”
But, really, what are my choices?

Okay, you got me, I’ve been planning to murder my wife for half a year now, but the train schedule is just not cooperating.

Still waiting on the mail-order bride from the Philippines. So yes, technically, I’m married, but practically I’m continuing my single lifestyle.

Separated. She has my testicles and pocketbook, I get the lower back pain and sleep disorder.

I’m a nun, so I’m technically married to Christ, but practically I’m continuing my single lifestyle.

I’ve been going steady with a stack of magazines for about fifteen years, so it’s a common-law marriage of sorts.

I’m married, but my wife’s been “missing” for three years now, thanks for bringing that memory back.

My wife has been replaced by a robotic clone from the planet Nix, so perhaps the marriage contract is now null and void.

I’m a superhero and your paltry domestic laws don’t apply to me. The child you are about to examine? I molded her from clay and breathed life into her myself.

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