The Jaguar and the Juvenile
A Jaguar thought to itself, “What is it about non-utilitarian items, regardless of artistic merit, that invites petty theft?”
“I don’t know,” a passing juvenile said, and, counter to what you’re thinking, let the car’s hood ornament be. (This fable takes place at a time when the company was still brave enough to supply the buyer with a chrome feline replica.)
“Hey!” the stunned car shouted, “Don’t you think I’m pretty?”
And, as a bonus,
If you pronounce it Jaguar,
You’re proving what a f** you are.
If you pronounce it Jaguwire,
No fancy car will drag you higher.
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