Bikini season

I received a Spam email the other day.

Let me insert a comment on my email server (gmail). It "reads" key words in emails and offers links based on these. On the one hand, it's intrusive. On the other hand, it can be helpful. On the third hand, it can be funny. Gmail separates what it suspects to be spam in a separate mail folder, which is nice. I get to look at them and delete them all. Oddly enough, the links are usually for recipes like spam quiche, spam pizza, or spambrosia (I made that up, but just you wait).

Back to my monorail of thought. The subject line (I deleted it rather than read the rest) read: Are you ready for bikini season?

This, of course, set me into immediate panic. I'm not ready at all! I need to remember where I planted my bikini bulbs last fall. (I must say I'm not impressed by the early harvest I've seen so far.) I also need to figure out what they're serving with bikinis this year. I still need to apply for a bikini license. (It shouldn't be a problem if I apply at the Coney Island Bikini Bureau. I'll grease the right palms and I'm good to go.) And, finally, I need to ask the kids where my binoculars are.