Thursday, May 04, 2006

vacation summation

This, I presume, is the gambling equivalent of a Surgeon General’s warning on a pack of cigarettes. Posted out of the way and made to look as boring as possible. “Well, you can’t say we didn’t warn you. More free drinks?”

The pools in Vegas, by the way, are all around 3 feet deep. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s so they can serve drinks there. It’s great for kids, except when the adults have sobered up enough to come to the pool wearing shades and sipping their breakfast. Of course they never spill. [Note to self: take another shower.]

One of the weirdest things about Las Vegas is that after a few days, some of the hotels and attractions seem quite tasteful - just as Tom Jones seems understated after you’ve listened to Neil Diamond.
Speaking of Mr. Jones, I again missed an opportunity to see him perform live. Friends of mine went and reported a disappointing thrown-panty count, but were happy to inform me of a fainting audience member. (Both during “What’s New, Pussycat?” whooawhoawhooa – now you’re humming that, right? You’re welcome.)

The motto is, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” So does that mean that my brother-in-law is not really married? What about STDs? Or debt?
Talk about a tired joke.
They’re actually saying, “What’s great about Vegas is that you get to leave.”

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