Saturday, May 20, 2006

Lancelot - thumbscrews down

Hey, NSA infidels, al Qaeda, al Qaeda (getting some more hits from you guys – it’s like dropping sexual and pornographic words in a different context. Or is it really the same drive, just redirected – a different kind of voyeurism?) But I didn’t set out to analyze you folk.
I was just curious if you also have to check out people’s DVD rentals. If so, don’t bother with Lancelot of the Lake, directed by Richard Bresson. Though you might want to read something into this with Mordred using Lancelot’s affair with Guinevere to overthrow Arthur’s great kingdom, I don’t think you’d get far. If Dubya’s Arthur, who is Lancelot? Not Cheney; Powell’s gone; the cabinet in general is getting restructured, so I don’t know who you’d go for. And if, by someone’s stretched imagination, Laura is Guinevere, you’d know better than I who her secret paramour might be – though I shudder to think.
With Mordred’s identity you’re having a ball, I know. It could be anyone, I guess; enough people are pollingly (appollingly? Hyuk, hyuk) dissatisfied, but who’s willing to do something about it?
Anyway, my point is, we didn’t finish watching the movie. We skipped ahead to see if it would get any better, but no. The flat acting, the terrible sound-effects, the boring settings, you’ve got more important things to do, NSA people. (Like monitoring which Krispy Kreme is about to cook up a new batch, am I right? No, seriously, go check out Al Gore’s documentary instead.)
Do you know Netflix’s recommendation system, NSA folks? I’m worried that, if I give Lancelot a low rating, they won’t recommend Arthurian things. But the point is, I like Arthurian things, I just hate it when they’re badly done. And since it’s the same story over and over again, you develop some expectations.
If this movie was some French anti-British propaganda, it makes sense. Otherwise, I’m baffled.

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