Thursday, May 18, 2006

anybody out there?

If the NSA checks in on emails and postings that include “hot” words, will I get more hits on my blog if I regularly include the words “Al Qaeda”?
Sounds too easy.
Maybe I should engage the poor NSA monitor.
Hi, NSA person,
How are things at your job? Found anything worthwhile yet?
Anything you can share? Will the restructuring of Bush’s cabinet affect your job? I hope not. Here’s a tip. If you’re worried, try to fabricate some codes and theories you need to investigate further, Dan Brown style.
Speaking of, do you get to monitor movies before they get released? Or is that privilege reserved for senior NSAers?
I’m really not trying to waste your valuable time with this entry, maybe there will be something here for you. You never know. Check for acrostics. (Nothing, huh.) How about reading it backwards. (Nothing again.) Code, replacing letters with other letters. (Nada?) Oh. I’ve got it. Translate it into Russian. Then, from Russian, to Japanese, then Spanish, Croatian, and back to English. Anything? Too bad.
If you want, you can check my library records and read some of the books I’ve checked out. I recommend the Thurber, but the Magic Treehouse Series may be more your speed. Don’t bother with the books on how to find a job, you’ve already got one. Or am I trying to infiltrate the economy and sabotage something? No chance. How about the book on screenwriting? Maybe I’m working on propaganda films. Nah.
I’m sorry. Nothing today, NSA person. But check in next time I type the words “al Qaeda.” You never know.
I feel safer knowing you’re reading this.
Actually, what makes me feel good is that some people in government jobs still know how to read.
Good on you.
Suspiciously yours,
Philipp

1 comment:

CB said...

you could also put in words like Allah, inshalla, and shukran -- that might help get more hits here.