Canute again

Have I ever told you I obsess about random things?


Canute’s Legend, With a Revised Ending

Said King Canute,
“False flattery I must refute.
My courtiers must learn,
The tides I cannot turn.”

So King Canute
Put on his buckskin bathing suit
And marched down to the beach.
A lesson he would teach.

But King Canute
Believed his naval institute.
Those fellows, bless their hearts,
Read last year’s tidal charts.

When King Canute
Said, “Go back, waters. Turn ‘round. Scoot,”
The waters did comply.
Canute was praised on high.

Said King Canute,
“Oh, shoot.”

And a Further Revised Ending

Said King Canute,
“Fear not, I will taint my repute.
Although perhaps I’ll die,
I’ll show them I can’t fly.”

So King Canute
Put on his pigskin parachute
And climbed a nearby cliff.
He’d jump and then would drift.

But King Canute
Believed his weather institute.
Those fellows, bless their souls,
A clear, calm day foretold.

Poor King Canute.
The wind picked up his parachute.
Upward he did fly,
And he was praised on high.

Said King Canute,
“Oh, shoot.”

And, Finally

Said King Canute,
“Perhaps I’ll try another route.
I’ll face my greatest dread.
I think it’s time to wed.”

So King Canute
- in double-breasted metal suit -
He saddled up to ride
And find himself a bride.

Yay, King Canute.
The girl he found was quite a beaut.
“I do” was her reply,
And he was praised on high.

Soon King Canute
Became engaged in a dispute.
“Look. Nature I’ve controlled,
You’ll do as you are told.”

Said Queen Canute,
“How cute.”