I have some Dinah Washington songs on my iPod, from a CD I recently got.
To those of you who don't know her, you might recognize her as the singer of "What a Difference a Day Makes."
Well, before she recorde jazz albums, she recorded blues and that is what popped up in the shuffle.
So imagine yourself walking down the street, hearing a bluesy intro with lead guitar riffing over a slow shuffle and then hearing the first line:
I’ve got a dentist who’s over seven feet tall.
"What the ...?" you say to yourself. Who cares and why and hunh? It being that kind of blues, the line comes again.
Yes, I’ve got a dentist who’s over seven feet tall.
"All right. So?" you think.
Long John they call him, and he answers every call.
Hm.
Well I went to Long John’s office and told him the pain was killing.
All right. Okay.
Yes, I went to Long John’s office and told him the pain was killing.
Get on with it, already.
He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed filling.
Oooooooooh.
And this is when I cupped my hands over my ears to drown out passing trucks and busses and just stood by the side of a building, grinning. Enjoy the rest.
He said, “When I start drilling, I’ll have to give you Novocain.
Yes, when I start drilling, I’ll have to give you Novocain.
‘cause every woman just can’t stand the pain.”
He took out his trusty drill,
And he told me to open wide.
He said he wouldn’t hurt me,
But he’d feel my (w)hole(,) inside.
Long John, Long John, you’ve got that golden touch.
You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much.
When he got through, he said, “Baby, that will cost you ten.”
Yes, when he got through, he said, “That will cost you ten.
Six months from now, come back and see me again.”
Say, you’re supposed to see your dentist
About twice a year, that’s right.
But I think I feel it fobbin’ [throbbing (?)],
Guess I’ll go back there tonight.
Long John, Long John, don’t ever move away.
See, I hope I keep on aching, so I can see you every day.
In case you want to track down the song for yourself, it's called "Long John Blues."
Yowza.