In case you're wondering why there wasn't anything new today, it's because we spent the time between 1 am and 4 am doing laundry because of various pediatric digestive incidents and then spent the day at home recuperating and fighting about using the computer. Not using it, that is.
To lead by example, I refrained from blogging.
But tomorrow they ought to be off to school again and then we'll see.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Coco Tuesday
The two sides of Coco
Yesterday might have gone better if a liveried butler had shown up at my door bearing a silver tablet with a note on it reading, “Meet me today in the living room. Choose your second wisely. We shall meet at two paces. The weapons will be fingernails and screams. The use of reason results in an immediate disqualification. You shall know me by the secret message, ‘I want Power Rangers.’”
That’s really what started it, the Power Ranger request. But the peak of the duel was the following.
C (Coco): I want apple juice.
PIV (Poor Innocent Victim): Okay [pours juice into cup]
C: That’s too much!
PIV (not heeding the warning signs): Okay. [pours some into sink]
C: Noooo!
PIV (really not too bright): Okay. [pours it all out and rinses cup]
C: Noo! Not water!
PIV (really ought to renamed to Ignorant Dumb-A**): Okay [wiped cup]
C: Nooo! I do it with tissue!
IDA (proving that old dogs can’t learn any tricks at all and also forget old tricks rather frequently: Okay. [re-wets cup and hands it to C]
C: Nooo! [Throws cup]
IDA (raising voice): Look. Do you want apple juice or don’t you?!?!!!
C: Noooo! [runs into room, slams door]
Game, Set, Match.
Post-game analysis reveals that PIV/IDA ought to have thrown himself on the ground after C’s second sally. Fist-pounding may have gotten him some points. But really, the play was too far on C’s side after the brilliant opening non-thirsty apple-juice request.
Same child, the previous day. Playing with Darth Tater - Hasbro’s brilliant name for Mr. Potatohead in his Darth Vader costume – (using a 3-yr-old’s “deep voice” which in itself is already super-cute): “I am your father.”
Then: Boing. [Darth Tater flies up the chair] Tickle, tickle.
I’m guessing the latter is what people have in mind when they say they wish the kids could stay that age forever.
Yesterday might have gone better if a liveried butler had shown up at my door bearing a silver tablet with a note on it reading, “Meet me today in the living room. Choose your second wisely. We shall meet at two paces. The weapons will be fingernails and screams. The use of reason results in an immediate disqualification. You shall know me by the secret message, ‘I want Power Rangers.’”
That’s really what started it, the Power Ranger request. But the peak of the duel was the following.
C (Coco): I want apple juice.
PIV (Poor Innocent Victim): Okay [pours juice into cup]
C: That’s too much!
PIV (not heeding the warning signs): Okay. [pours some into sink]
C: Noooo!
PIV (really not too bright): Okay. [pours it all out and rinses cup]
C: Noo! Not water!
PIV (really ought to renamed to Ignorant Dumb-A**): Okay [wiped cup]
C: Nooo! I do it with tissue!
IDA (proving that old dogs can’t learn any tricks at all and also forget old tricks rather frequently: Okay. [re-wets cup and hands it to C]
C: Nooo! [Throws cup]
IDA (raising voice): Look. Do you want apple juice or don’t you?!?!!!
C: Noooo! [runs into room, slams door]
Game, Set, Match.
Post-game analysis reveals that PIV/IDA ought to have thrown himself on the ground after C’s second sally. Fist-pounding may have gotten him some points. But really, the play was too far on C’s side after the brilliant opening non-thirsty apple-juice request.
Same child, the previous day. Playing with Darth Tater - Hasbro’s brilliant name for Mr. Potatohead in his Darth Vader costume – (using a 3-yr-old’s “deep voice” which in itself is already super-cute): “I am your father.”
Then: Boing. [Darth Tater flies up the chair] Tickle, tickle.
I’m guessing the latter is what people have in mind when they say they wish the kids could stay that age forever.
Monday, January 22, 2007
I almost forgot
My week in review for CrunchGear.
Please follow the link and comment on the post - if you're so inclined. If you're otherwise inclined, which, I guess, is declining, do it anyway. C'mon. For me.
Please follow the link and comment on the post - if you're so inclined. If you're otherwise inclined, which, I guess, is declining, do it anyway. C'mon. For me.
Esther Phillips, part 2
For those of you able to see the Esther Phillips thing on YouTube that I linked to, here’s another thing that grabbed me about it. (For the others, too, but you might not have the visual image required to make sense of the following statement.) Watching her, you know she’s just bursting to move and shout. Just look at it again and watch her arms. She’s just ready to explode, but the song won’t let her.
So, do yourselves a favor. Go to iTunes, type “Try Me Esther Phillips,” and buy the song.
Here are the lyrics (quite frankly, I was at a loss how to punctuate the thing. Most words needed a sort of exclamation mark after them):
Try Me
If you really wanna know if I can stand your brand of love,
Try me.
Why don’t you try me?
If you wanna know if I’m affected by the moon above,
Then try me.
Come on and try me.
Don’t you know my heart feels a strong desire
When I’m thrilled by the warmth of your touch?
Baby, don’t you know my soul’s on fire,
And I need your lovin’ so much.
If you really wanna know if I am longing for your kiss,
Then try me.
Why won’t you try me.
If you think that I’ll get weak in a cozy spot like this,
Please try me.
I beg you, try me.
If you’re wondrin’ ‘bout the magic in stars and soft caresses
There’s only one way to know if it’s right:
Just take me in your arms, baby, and try, try me tonight.
[sax solo]*
Don’t you know my heart feels a strong desire
When I’m thrilled by the warmth of your touch?
Baby, don’t you know my soul’s on fire,
And I need your lovin’ so much.
Just take me your arms and try me tonight
I want you to take me in your arms, and come on, and try me tonight
I beg you, try me, try me, try me, try me tonight.
* Poor guy, having to follow that. The solo’s a bit of a letdown. But what can you do in such little time to match that? Wouldn’t it be great to have a solo start for a few bars and then have the guy put down the horn and say, “[Expletive,] Esther, you’ve got to give me more [expletive] room than that.”
So, do yourselves a favor. Go to iTunes, type “Try Me Esther Phillips,” and buy the song.
Here are the lyrics (quite frankly, I was at a loss how to punctuate the thing. Most words needed a sort of exclamation mark after them):
Try Me
If you really wanna know if I can stand your brand of love,
Try me.
Why don’t you try me?
If you wanna know if I’m affected by the moon above,
Then try me.
Come on and try me.
Don’t you know my heart feels a strong desire
When I’m thrilled by the warmth of your touch?
Baby, don’t you know my soul’s on fire,
And I need your lovin’ so much.
If you really wanna know if I am longing for your kiss,
Then try me.
Why won’t you try me.
If you think that I’ll get weak in a cozy spot like this,
Please try me.
I beg you, try me.
If you’re wondrin’ ‘bout the magic in stars and soft caresses
There’s only one way to know if it’s right:
Just take me in your arms, baby, and try, try me tonight.
[sax solo]*
Don’t you know my heart feels a strong desire
When I’m thrilled by the warmth of your touch?
Baby, don’t you know my soul’s on fire,
And I need your lovin’ so much.
Just take me your arms and try me tonight
I want you to take me in your arms, and come on, and try me tonight
I beg you, try me, try me, try me, try me tonight.
* Poor guy, having to follow that. The solo’s a bit of a letdown. But what can you do in such little time to match that? Wouldn’t it be great to have a solo start for a few bars and then have the guy put down the horn and say, “[Expletive,] Esther, you’ve got to give me more [expletive] room than that.”
Madge Monday and the "Mouse"
Funny how some lines live on. This morning I was trying to get the kids ready and Coco got distracted while getting dressed, meaning he was running around chasing the cat, naked. The cat was wearing his fur, of course.
Madge said, “Coco. It’s time to put the mouse in the house.”
I said, “What?”
She said, “He needs to put the mouse [pointing at his you-know] in the house [holding up the Superman underwear].”
The missing link in this story is, of course, Julie, who considers that line from “Friends” immortal and is doing her best to make it live on.
I wonder when Madge will use this line in public.
Madge said, “Coco. It’s time to put the mouse in the house.”
I said, “What?”
She said, “He needs to put the mouse [pointing at his you-know] in the house [holding up the Superman underwear].”
The missing link in this story is, of course, Julie, who considers that line from “Friends” immortal and is doing her best to make it live on.
I wonder when Madge will use this line in public.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Esther Phillips
Just a quick post because I've got to run. I was looking for her version of "Try Me" on YouTube but found this instead.
There are two things I love about it. First, of course, the introduction by John Lennon. As much as I like Esther Phillips, I'm not sure this is the song I'd choose to showcase her talents. But, hey, you take what you can get. And, second, the choreography. You can totally tell that the producers told her to stand on the X and "Don't move!" Until the instrumental break where she gets to wander to a point where the shadows seem to cut off her head. Weird.
There are two things I love about it. First, of course, the introduction by John Lennon. As much as I like Esther Phillips, I'm not sure this is the song I'd choose to showcase her talents. But, hey, you take what you can get. And, second, the choreography. You can totally tell that the producers told her to stand on the X and "Don't move!" Until the instrumental break where she gets to wander to a point where the shadows seem to cut off her head. Weird.
Friday, January 19, 2007
X Fable
The Ox and the Exception
The Exception spoke to the Ox. “Look. There’s nothing remarkable about you, so you really shouldn’t be in this kids’ book on the alphabet. But, other than the xylophone, there’s not much to offer at this end of the letters we use, so you can be like me for now.”
The Ox answered, “Am I supposed to thank you for this? What if I don’t want to be in a book?”
“But…” stammered the Exception. “Okay, you can go.”
The Ox wandered off and the Exception got to stay on alone.
So the Exception said, “How about this:
The Ex and the X
The Ex sighed happily. ‘Ironic, isn’t it, dear X, how I’ve come to depend on you. First, the kisses you represent got me into a long-distance relationship I should have shied away from, but then my signature next to you on the prenup made everything dandy.’”
The Exception spoke to the Ox. “Look. There’s nothing remarkable about you, so you really shouldn’t be in this kids’ book on the alphabet. But, other than the xylophone, there’s not much to offer at this end of the letters we use, so you can be like me for now.”
The Ox answered, “Am I supposed to thank you for this? What if I don’t want to be in a book?”
“But…” stammered the Exception. “Okay, you can go.”
The Ox wandered off and the Exception got to stay on alone.
So the Exception said, “How about this:
The Ex and the X
The Ex sighed happily. ‘Ironic, isn’t it, dear X, how I’ve come to depend on you. First, the kisses you represent got me into a long-distance relationship I should have shied away from, but then my signature next to you on the prenup made everything dandy.’”
Thursday, January 18, 2007
pediatric dentistry
Yesterday we had a dentistry double whammy. Madge at 4, Coco at 4:30, and we got home around 6. Julie got to participate vicariously because we have new cell phones and I can now send pictures. So she received an image of Coco with shades on (to guard him from the light which he called “the fire” – so you can already guess how he felt about the whole event) and Mr. Thirsty in his mouth (which the kids get to operate themselves).
Madge has a good attitude towards the whole thing. Perhaps it helps that the first time she had a filling (on a tooth that has since fallen out) they gassed her up with laughing gas and the whole room was bluish to her and, well, she was high for a while. But now she loves going.
Coco, not so much. As far as he’s concerned, a doctor is a doctor, and no matter how friendly they appear, their sole purpose, the thing they get paid to do, is to invade your privacy if not cause actual pain. But he’s brave and wills himself to sit still. And after a while he realized that, while uncomfortable and intrusive, it’s not necessarily painful.
Here, though, is why I even started writing this. While I know it’s not right of me to instinctively side with Coco in their disagreements, I know why I do it. Like him, I was the youngest, more specifically the younger brother of big sisters.
So I hope you’ll be proud of me for not interfering when I overheard the following (about the toys they got at the dentist’s) from Madge.
“Let me see that [toy fairy that you’ve been playing with while I was reading]. No. That one’s mine. Yours is the one with the broken sword. But don’t worry. It’s not broken much. Bring it to daddy. He can fix it.”
Madge has a good attitude towards the whole thing. Perhaps it helps that the first time she had a filling (on a tooth that has since fallen out) they gassed her up with laughing gas and the whole room was bluish to her and, well, she was high for a while. But now she loves going.
Coco, not so much. As far as he’s concerned, a doctor is a doctor, and no matter how friendly they appear, their sole purpose, the thing they get paid to do, is to invade your privacy if not cause actual pain. But he’s brave and wills himself to sit still. And after a while he realized that, while uncomfortable and intrusive, it’s not necessarily painful.
Here, though, is why I even started writing this. While I know it’s not right of me to instinctively side with Coco in their disagreements, I know why I do it. Like him, I was the youngest, more specifically the younger brother of big sisters.
So I hope you’ll be proud of me for not interfering when I overheard the following (about the toys they got at the dentist’s) from Madge.
“Let me see that [toy fairy that you’ve been playing with while I was reading]. No. That one’s mine. Yours is the one with the broken sword. But don’t worry. It’s not broken much. Bring it to daddy. He can fix it.”
cheese again
Rocastin, that's the name of the sheep's brie I had. Full name: Le Berger de Rocastin. (Fromage d'Affinois)
Verdict: sure, why not. But I'm not sure I'd go out of my way for it. Mostly because I tend to overeat on bries (the flavor is just fine, a hint of sheep wrapped in brie creaminess). I have a feeling I'm not the only one.
The problem, of course, is that this kind of cheese doesn't agree with my latent obsessive compulsiveness. In other words, the mere fact that it's a bit runny makes me want to leave the sides neat when I'm done. And, since this is impossible, I'm not truly done until the cheese is gone.
Sometimes I have that problem with ice cream, too, but (un)fortunately it's easier to leave a flat surface in a thing of Ben and Jerry's than it is with a wedge of brie.
A hard cheese, on the other hand, is easier to "manage" in that sense.
There, now you can rest at ease.
Verdict: sure, why not. But I'm not sure I'd go out of my way for it. Mostly because I tend to overeat on bries (the flavor is just fine, a hint of sheep wrapped in brie creaminess). I have a feeling I'm not the only one.
The problem, of course, is that this kind of cheese doesn't agree with my latent obsessive compulsiveness. In other words, the mere fact that it's a bit runny makes me want to leave the sides neat when I'm done. And, since this is impossible, I'm not truly done until the cheese is gone.
Sometimes I have that problem with ice cream, too, but (un)fortunately it's easier to leave a flat surface in a thing of Ben and Jerry's than it is with a wedge of brie.
A hard cheese, on the other hand, is easier to "manage" in that sense.
There, now you can rest at ease.
Mpls. memory
Apropos of nothing, I remembered today that, when we saw this painting (Monet, in case you didn't know) in the museum in Mineeapolis where it lives, Madge said, "Why do they have a picture of a muffin?"
I'm sure she wasn't the first to make that observation.
Of course I then explained to her that the Impressionists were just a bunch of nearsighted Frenchmen who were too vain to bring their glasses with them when they painted outdoors.
I know for a fact I'm not the first to make that observation, either.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
getting ready
Can it be that I’ve got nothing to show for my efforts today?
Let’s just say that even if there were, I’d be in denial.
Saw Glenn again yesterday, and it was fun, though, as always, too short. There are some people that make you feel happy just by being near. Number one, of course, is Julie. The kids, well, they make you feel about ten-thousand things at once. But Glenn, it’s just nice to be around him. Let’s start a fan club. Who’s with me?
But that was yesterday. Today we’re dealing with cold weather. Which means the skies are clear and I feel the kids are going to get ripped off as far as upcoming snows are concerned. Once it clouds over it’ll be warmer again. And I – I mean, the kids – really wanted to have some snowball fights and get a sled and… Oh, well.
Got some new cheese today that I’m excited about, only because I’m branching out. I tend not to get the runny soft ones, but today I got a sheep’s milk brie, so we’ll see. I’ll report on it later. I know you’ll be losing sleep if you don’t hear about it soon.
The cold is new to us, in a way, since the kids’ sensory memory doesn’t extend to the last winter. Therefore it’s a surprise to everyone that cold weather translates into an unwillingness to crawl out from under the warm snuggly covers in the morning.
“Why are we late?” asked Madge.
Of course I blamed them. It sure was a struggle. Topped off by Coco’s insistence on wearing his finger gloves, which are too big and which he wants to put on himself but which he can’t, especially when he puts the left one on the right hand like this morning.
But, really, that only accounted for about four minutes of our lateness. Still, four minutes of screaming and struggle and forced self-restraint. (And some shouting on Madge’s part.) Ah, yes, tranquil family life.
As people with older children tend to say, “Oh, that’s the best age.”
What they’re really saying is, “It gets worse.”
Yippee!
Let’s just say that even if there were, I’d be in denial.
Saw Glenn again yesterday, and it was fun, though, as always, too short. There are some people that make you feel happy just by being near. Number one, of course, is Julie. The kids, well, they make you feel about ten-thousand things at once. But Glenn, it’s just nice to be around him. Let’s start a fan club. Who’s with me?
But that was yesterday. Today we’re dealing with cold weather. Which means the skies are clear and I feel the kids are going to get ripped off as far as upcoming snows are concerned. Once it clouds over it’ll be warmer again. And I – I mean, the kids – really wanted to have some snowball fights and get a sled and… Oh, well.
Got some new cheese today that I’m excited about, only because I’m branching out. I tend not to get the runny soft ones, but today I got a sheep’s milk brie, so we’ll see. I’ll report on it later. I know you’ll be losing sleep if you don’t hear about it soon.
The cold is new to us, in a way, since the kids’ sensory memory doesn’t extend to the last winter. Therefore it’s a surprise to everyone that cold weather translates into an unwillingness to crawl out from under the warm snuggly covers in the morning.
“Why are we late?” asked Madge.
Of course I blamed them. It sure was a struggle. Topped off by Coco’s insistence on wearing his finger gloves, which are too big and which he wants to put on himself but which he can’t, especially when he puts the left one on the right hand like this morning.
But, really, that only accounted for about four minutes of our lateness. Still, four minutes of screaming and struggle and forced self-restraint. (And some shouting on Madge’s part.) Ah, yes, tranquil family life.
As people with older children tend to say, “Oh, that’s the best age.”
What they’re really saying is, “It gets worse.”
Yippee!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Keeping up with me
And, finally, one of the reasons I've been behind with my postings is that I'm teaching SAT prep stuff again on Sundays. In Long Island (or "on?").
Anyway, this weekend had a bit of a surprise for me. I knew I was going to do a double shift. But I was quite certain that I'd be teaching all Writing. Turned out I was teaching Reading on the second shift. Eeek!
So I stalled for a while and then, boom, my best lecture ever. Not really, but it went just fine, I think.
I even came up with a dumb pun that I can't help but share.
See, one of the ways I like to remember new words (Reading in SAT exam terms often means knowing vocabulary) is to dissect them. For example, the word "dissect" which we pronounce as "die-sect" and therefore often misspell. But the word doesn't refer to sectioning in two (di); rather, it's sectioning apart (dis).
I still misspell it all the time, but at least I know why I'm wrong.
So I shared my favorite root:
-stitution.
It goes with:
con, in, sub, de, re, and, of course, the one that gets the giggles, pro.
And then I said that prostitution is just a way of making, heh, heh ends meet. Not realizing until the middle of the word "ends" that I was making a pun.
But these kids are smart. They actually got it and had the typical pun-appreciation response.
A groan and a smile.
That's really all I can ask for.
(And it sounds like drink order: a shot of whiskey with a champagne chaser.)
Anyway, this weekend had a bit of a surprise for me. I knew I was going to do a double shift. But I was quite certain that I'd be teaching all Writing. Turned out I was teaching Reading on the second shift. Eeek!
So I stalled for a while and then, boom, my best lecture ever. Not really, but it went just fine, I think.
I even came up with a dumb pun that I can't help but share.
See, one of the ways I like to remember new words (Reading in SAT exam terms often means knowing vocabulary) is to dissect them. For example, the word "dissect" which we pronounce as "die-sect" and therefore often misspell. But the word doesn't refer to sectioning in two (di); rather, it's sectioning apart (dis).
I still misspell it all the time, but at least I know why I'm wrong.
So I shared my favorite root:
-stitution.
It goes with:
con, in, sub, de, re, and, of course, the one that gets the giggles, pro.
And then I said that prostitution is just a way of making, heh, heh ends meet. Not realizing until the middle of the word "ends" that I was making a pun.
But these kids are smart. They actually got it and had the typical pun-appreciation response.
A groan and a smile.
That's really all I can ask for.
(And it sounds like drink order: a shot of whiskey with a champagne chaser.)
Coco Tuesday (told you I'm cheating)
What you see here is his impression of Mommy's week away. She told him that she and one of her West-coast work friends cried when they said goodbye.
And what child can't tell you about how odd it is to see your parents crying.
(Just wait a few days and my mom will leave a comment about me, a certain Heintje song, and her brief stay at the hospital.)
Madge Monday (cheating, sort of)
Okay, so I'm not making witty observations about what we've done in the past week, though I can tell you that this weekend has been heavily weighted on the girly side. (Ballet and American Girl Store - yay, us.)
But Madge also started drawing and writing a dictionary. She's gotten to the letter "H" but hasn't written anything for that entry yet. Feel free to view the dictionary as it stands in "the Gallery." I'll be updating it whenever she does more. And I'll keep trying to persuade her to let me publish them here. I think they rock.
If you need help deciphering the texts, let me know via a comment here or in Flickr, where the gallery lives, or via email.
I don't you be telling me I'm not available for you. Communicatively, I mean, not emotionally.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Weasel tidbit.
Something I found when doing "research" for my W Fable:
The company that makes those overprices but well-packed and oh-so-sweet-smelling baby-care products (shampoos, lotions, etc.) has the name of the genus that weasels belong to.
It's Mustela.
Weird, huh? You can look up "weasel" in the dictionary, if you want to.
I can just hear new dads using this in a store. "They're charging what for a bottle of shampoo?! Well, you know what "mustela" means, don't you? Look it up. They're weasels."
The company that makes those overprices but well-packed and oh-so-sweet-smelling baby-care products (shampoos, lotions, etc.) has the name of the genus that weasels belong to.
It's Mustela.
Weird, huh? You can look up "weasel" in the dictionary, if you want to.
I can just hear new dads using this in a store. "They're charging what for a bottle of shampoo?! Well, you know what "mustela" means, don't you? Look it up. They're weasels."
Friday, January 12, 2007
Note on today's fable
Odd thing, this alphabet we have. I was so preoccupied trying to come up with something for X that it took me completely by surprise that the letter after V is something else entirely.
So I hastily assembled what I have. I hope it makes sense.
So I hastily assembled what I have. I hope it makes sense.
W Fable
The Weasel and the Worm
A weasel and a worm were moving about together (“walking” is shorter, but it’s a worm, so…) and talking about their ancestry and the bad rap they’ve gotten because someone at sometime may have done something lowly and why are they still being stereotyped…
“And anyway,” said the weasel, “it makes sense for people to look down on you. You burrow in the ground. And you’re slimy.”
“Oh,” answered the worm, “like you don’t actually pride yourself in getting out of tricky situa-“
Just then they happened upon a bear trap which snapped shut on both of them.
“Oops,” they both said.
“Bad luck,” said the weasel.
“Yeah, well,” answered the worm. “Being a weasel only gets you so far, huh?”
And with that he/she split in half and continued the conversation on his/her new dual own.
(Can a worm be diagnosed as schizophrenic?)
A weasel and a worm were moving about together (“walking” is shorter, but it’s a worm, so…) and talking about their ancestry and the bad rap they’ve gotten because someone at sometime may have done something lowly and why are they still being stereotyped…
“And anyway,” said the weasel, “it makes sense for people to look down on you. You burrow in the ground. And you’re slimy.”
“Oh,” answered the worm, “like you don’t actually pride yourself in getting out of tricky situa-“
Just then they happened upon a bear trap which snapped shut on both of them.
“Oops,” they both said.
“Bad luck,” said the weasel.
“Yeah, well,” answered the worm. “Being a weasel only gets you so far, huh?”
And with that he/she split in half and continued the conversation on his/her new dual own.
(Can a worm be diagnosed as schizophrenic?)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Shaft
A group art project. We added some color to John Shaft.
But now that I write that, it doesn't make much sense.
Anyway, guess who got to hem and haw his way through explaining the plot?
The oddest part was that I realized I hardly remember any of the plot at all. Julie, is this the movie with the immortal line, "Close it yourself, shitty?" If not, which one is? Now I'm giggling at that line all over again.
commentary in a sweater
The tag in my sweater sums up the neighborhood where we used to live.
SF: Made in Hong Kong.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)